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Home of the Haynes Zombie Survival Manual and all things zombie survival in the UK
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My Blog
Storing the Undead
4/14/2010 3:34:41 PM

It has been estimated that there are over 200 zombies being held in this country for scientific research purposes. I have one, possibly two, in my fortified shed outback so that still leaves around 200 around the nation.

Why do I raise this?
Well, I contacted the top ten universities in this country to check on any research being done into the Zombic Condition so far, I have two responses & am now no longer able to enter the grounds of University College Hospital in London. (A trifle unfair I thought bearing in mind the “arm” I was carrying as a sample was not attached to any living dead body.)
So, where the blazes are the living dead in the UK?
My 200 figure came from a very reliable worker in this field. I can only think they are with private companies or research bodies…
I phoned GlaxoSmithKline this morning & they forwarded me to Human Resources (Remains) I’ll keep you all posted but things don’t look hopeful.
I am greatly concerned about exactly where these creatures are & under what conditions they are being kept. Mine are chained & locked in a fortified building. If they did get out, the garden is sealed in so I could deal with them no problem. Worse thing they could do is mess with my swinging chair.
I just don’t trust companies around the living dead just too much bad history…when will people learn that profit & zombies just don’t mix….
If you know or work for a company using the undead for some purpose, please contact me, keep your name secret if you have to…just speak out now.
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