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 Coulrophobia is an abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns. Why do I mention this in a blog about zombies, well, honestly there are two reasons.
Firstly, I have this fantastic zombie clown that must be seen. But secondly, to remind brave zombie survivalists that the living dead can and do come in all shapes and sizes - many as frightening as they are deadly.
For example, most movies steer clear of particularly sensitive areas such as the infamous 'kiddie ghoul' - that is a munchkin, typically under 10, who has been tragically turned into a zombie - and guess where they will bite you first at that height....nasty...
It's not just kiddie ghouls - there's baby ghouls, geriatric ghouls - huge ghouls bloated by a build of gastric acid in their undead stomach - known in the industry as 'bloaters'.
The latest research I have here at the Ministry is that there are stages in Zombification - that is changes in the 'dead body' after it has become zombic. Broadly, this includes the complex chemical changes in the body, around gastric acid, blood etc etc. Dr Ahmed will be releasing this information as soon as it is prepared. So, nothing supernatural about bloaters - in fact, nothing supernatural about any of the unsavoury ghoul-types mentioned above - none are immune to that lethal bite.
It's a message I've spread before - during a zombie apocalypse, you are going to encounter some horrific sights. How can you prepare for this? Some will argue that a trip to Primark along Oxford Street on a busy Saturday is the best preparation and it is true that there are some sights to behold there - particularly with the expansive nature of lycra-leggings these days.
So, what words of wisdom can I offer?
Well, I can pimp my book to help you prepare - The Official Zombie Handbook UK - it's our collected wisdom to date.
But the real truth is, you just need to do something - stock up on your supplies, check your water, strengthen your fence, use your horror books to throw at the zombies....
And, how can you prepare for zombie clowns? - try watching Stephen King's mini-series IT on DVD - that should scare the sh*& out of you...pre-warned is pre-armed as they say...
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