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Ministry of Zombies
Home of the Haynes Zombie Survival Manual and all things zombie survival in the UK
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Zombie Author Interviews – Grrrr – Rebecca Besser and Jim Bronyaur
In this blog entry, the Ministry of Zombies fires some hard-nosed questions at two established horror writers. We probe deeply into areas such who they are, whether they like cheese & finally solve the question of which is better – balloon or airship.
If you interested in how these two villains create their webs of horror then read on. There is a Ministry of Zombies review for their latest work Crystallophobia – Fear of Glass up on Amazon. What’s most interesting about this book is that it’s the start of a rather fine series.
So, save the cash you were going to spend on crappy books like The Hunger Games and spend them on some hard-hitting independent and fresh horror.
Ministry of Zombies Interview – Rebecca Besser and Jim Bronyaur
[Warning – MoZ questions tend to be a bit strange so just go with it.]
We hear a knock on the MoZ bunker door. We don’t answer – it’s tea time. The knock grows louder. It is eventually answered. It’s two horror authors peddling their wares so we sit them down, with a cuppa & a bright light shining in their faces.
Here are the questions we fire at them?
(1)    Who the hell are you and what you doing here?
Bec: I really don’t know… But I found a book called Undead Drive-Thru with a picture of me in the back that says: Rebecca Besser. So, I guess that’s me. This guy… *points to Jim* …shot a zombie in the head and saved me after it knocked me down and I hit my head. He dragged me along with him, so here I am!
Jim: Me? Uh, me, I’m, uh, Jim. I get to lie for a living and make paid for it. I write horror novels, thriller novels, mystery novels, and I’ve even dabbled in literary fiction and paranormal romance. As far as why I’m here… here because Bec sent me an interview and said ‘Answer the questions or you die’… here in the sense of being born… whoa, that’s deep thinking… leave me alone.
[Both correct answers. Well done so far but as The Carpenters sang “we’ve only just begun…”]
(2)    Books you say, tell us more or the teddy gets it?
Bec: Rip the f**ker’s head off! *clears her throat* I mean. Jim and I – during our frantic escape from the zombies – decided we should write a book series based on fears. We’re calling it Series of Fears and have kicked it off with the first book: Crystallophobia (fear of glass). *looks around in a paranoid manner, and then whispers…* It has zombies in it! Sparkling, glass filled zombies!
Jim: Lots of books. Bec and I have our own personal projects, but together, we’re creating something really cool here with the Series of Fears. We aren’t writing about the fear, but taking the fear and making it our own. With the first book, Crystallophobia, we have a glass plant explode, sending millions of pieces of glass into the workers, killing them. There’s something in the glass that makes them come back…
[Good, good, the force is strong with these two]
(3)    Are you a cheese person?
Bec: Do you mean, do I like to pose for pictures? Do you want to take my picture? Or are we going to have a snack?
Jim: Cheese… uh, sure.
(4)    Which book has influenced you most?
Bec: Hmmm…. This zombie book with my pic in it, since I can’t remember anything else and it seems to be a part of me.
Jim: Pet Cemetery. Best horror novel EVER. The book changed my life… and the young age of eight.
[Listing your own book as your biggest influence is surely a scandalous answer]
(5)    What do you think about clichés? We think they’re as common as muck?
Bec: Muck?! I thought I smelled something nasty in here. *wrinkles her nose in disgust* If that’s what clichés smell like… I can see why you don’t like them and try to avoid them!
Jim: Cliches are just so… cliché. ;)
(6)    Balloon or airship? Do you have access to this kind of transport?
Bec: BALLOONS! They’re like longer lasting bubbles. No. L I don’t have a balloon. *pout* At least…not that I can remember. *turns to Jim* Did you see any balloons where you found me? Or an airship for that matter?
Jim: Balloons… they’re cool, and one took Dorothy home. Plus, how cool would it be to be in a balloon over a horde of zombies, just shooting them…
[The correct answer is Airship but good arguments nonetheless]
(7)    Do you believe in global warming? We’re a bit concerned?
Bec: Oh, GOD! I hope global warming isn’t real! Have you smelled those rotting corpses out there? Or the muck in here?! If it gets much hotter, we’ll all suffocate from the damn stench!
Jim: Eh, not sure what to think. I just hope I’m rotting in the ground long before anything too serious happens.
(8)    Three words to describe your portfolio of books (no using the word twisted)
Bec: Intense, savage, emotional (still guessing by what I’ve read of this book).
Jim: Real, scary, insane
(9)    Which short story should we track down & then say ‘that is soooo you?’
Bec: *opens the book she’s holding and reads the bio about her supposed self, then pulls out her cell phone that works once in a while and goes to the author’s (her) website* Hmmm…. I’m going to go with…Hall of Twelve. It’s seems rather wild and out there, and that’s how I think I used to be. *drops her phone in her lap, grips her head between her hands, and closes her eyes* I keep getting snatches of memories. *opens her eyes and looks around* I think they’re memories…
Jim: A short story of mine? Hmm… I have an end of the world story in the End of Days 4 anthology that is perhaps one of my best. I received fan mail for that one. Cool.
[I will be checking these two stories to ensure that they do indeed represent your work]
 
(10)      What do you think is the biggest mistake horror writers make?
Bec: *gasps* Horror writers make mistakes? I thought they were perfect?! I guess – if they do make mistakes – they would be the same as most writers...plot holes and random things that don’t make sense.
Jim: Focusing on scaring people rather than creating a story. Horror isn’t about the monster jumping out of the closet… we know it’s there. Horror is the moments building to finding the monster, and how the people react. To create good horror, you must mess with people’s innocence and sense of time. 
[First I hated him, now I realise if I strike Jim down he will come back far stronger than I could ever imagine]
(11)    Can you give us a brief bio as we’re too lazy to pull one together?
Bec: From the website… *picks up her phone and reads what’s on the tiny screen* …it looks like I’ve been published over 140 times in various genres and mediums. You can check it all out at http://www.rebeccabesser.com or – oh, look! a blog – http://blog.rebeccabesser.com Apparently I’m on something called Facebook under: Author/Editor Rebecca Besser and something called Twitter under: BeccaBesser

Damn! I look busy! *giggles, but quickly frowns when her cell phone loses signal* Bummer!
Jim: Jim Bronyaur lives in Pennsylvania where he sits in a corner and writes books. Several of his books are available on Amazon, along other retailers. His newest series is called the Minivan Mom Mystery Series.

www.JimBronyaur.com
www.JBWrites.info (personal/writing blog)
Twitter: @JimBronyaur
[Both correct answers]
(12)    Writers are generally quite full of themselves – why is this?
Bec: Maybe they’re empty of others? I really don’t know…
Jim: Artists…
[I’m beginning to like these two]
(13)    Do you know something we don’t?
Bec: I don’t know what I know… Do you know what I know? Could you tell me what I know, if you know? Then we’d both know!
Jim: You tell me, or don’t.
[You are both wrong. I was looking for an answer concerning oil in Wales but no one knew about it so forget I mentioned it.]
(14)    What tales are currently hatching at the farm? Give us a clue?
Bec: *leans in close and whispers in a scared, quivering, tearful voice…* Jim keeps talking about things that will scare people! He keeps talking about fears! *covers her mouth with her hand and nods solemnly, sitting up straight again*
Jim: FEARS! To give a hint of a few we’re working on… fear of technology, fear of beautiful women, fear of children… and even fear of trees. J
[A fear of trees makes perfect sense to me. I’ve always found them too creepy with all their branches and the way leaves drop off. It’s just not right.]
 
(15)    Please provide a definition of horror for us?
Bec: Horror? Horror?! F**king life is HORROR! *points at the barricaded door for emphasis* There are zombies out there trying to eat us and there’s nothing we can do about it! *breaks down in tears*
Jim: Horror is the sense of knowing what can’t be real has become real, thus taking your pretty, little life and turning it upside down.
[Good show by our guest authors. They are wise and skilful in the dark arts. Check them out on their websites and support some new horror today. Go on, just dooooo it.]
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