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Ministry of Zombies
Home of the Haynes Zombie Survival Manual and all things zombie survival in the UK
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Pat Douglas – A Dark Man on a Mission?

Pat is one those irritating people who are good at lots of things. See this resume we lifted from the inter-web.

“P. A. Douglas is the author of several survival horror novels, novellas, and short stories including Watchers, Rancid, and Horror Stories and Terrifying Tales. His work has been praised by several well-known authors and has appeared in Fangoria Magazine. He is also a nationally touring singer-songwriter, under the name: The Cries Of. With more than a dozen music related releases and countless national tours, he has recently decided to give away all of his music for free as digital downloads. Douglas lives in South East Texas.”

He also goes out with Argentine underwear model Sabrina Lopez who has appeared in Vogue & has a small role in the upcoming Resident Evil movie.

Hate him already?

OK – we lied about the supermodel but the rest is true. Plus, his new novella may well have scared the crap out of our Ministry of Zombies review team.

Here’s the link & a piccie but read the mental interview first to confirm that he does indeed deserve your pennies. 

The Dark Man




The human mind holds within its infinite reaches many of the greatest mysteries in the universe. Some are vast and wondrous, while others are chilling and nightmarish. Some mysteries are better left hidden in the dark corners of our minds, never breaking free of our subconscious...
 

We pinned him to the floor & asked him the questions we all want to know the answers to....
Right, tell us a bit about you?
I recently came off of a 5 year stent of constant national touring as a solo-singer, song-writer. I have a few records out and was on a few small indie labels. Tour was fun, but all things must come to an end. With tour over and done with, I have taken a break from music and have started expressing myself in another fashion. That is where the entire author thing comes into play.
(Yes, Yes, we see. You like music. Respect given from us.)

And your new project Dark Man, sounds vaguely like a Liam Neeson or Freddy Kruger film I once saw…can you describe it to us without using the words ‘twisted’ or ‘high school students’?
Sure, I can do that. I would say the Dark Man is all of us. We are all carnal and have a dark side regardless if it ever shows. The novella is a small insight into something real that is hidden behind the veal.
(This is correct. We have studied the novella & this answer is valid.)
Why did the British swim team underperform in the recent Olympics?
Because they aren’t great like us Americans. That is all.
(This is not correct as the US also under-performed. We expected you to mention under-investment on the local swimming circuit.)
Splatterpunk? Grindhouse? Steampunk? What the hell do all these terms mean? Help us out?
Just sub-genres. Honestly I am pretty new to them myself. As a musician it just kind of happens. You got pop-punk, or grunge punk. Metal. Death Metal. Black Metal. Speed Metal. It all just comes down to preference. I have found that splatterpunk and grindhouse in the writing world just suggests more gore and death and less back story. I could be wrong. LOL
(Wise words we think. That does help.)

What is your favorite book and why?
Pretty much anything by R. L. Stine.
(Close. We agreed that your favorite book is Of Mice and Men.)

Which Pat Douglas story really sums you up?
Epidemic of the Undead. But then again, all of my stories tie me into them. What I mean by that is this: I was on tour when I wrote that one. So, the characters are on tour. In Hitchers I had just left tour, to the main character in that one misses the road. I just got a job as a welder, so I am writing one called Death Weld.
(Correct. This is a superb book in a busy genre. Please use the money from your music to make it into a film for next summer. Hire a big actor as well. Excellent volume.)

Your artwork kicks ass – tell us about it?
Thanks. I assume you are talking about the cover. Well, I love all of the stuff that Alan M. Clark does. He is so sick as an artist. My favorite publisher uses him for everything, so it was almost a nostalgic thing to have him do mine. He is currently working on the cover art for the book I am writing right now called, Killer Koala Bears from Another Dimension. 

(Nice. Koala bears are cute & therefore deserve the horror treatment. Good show Pat.)
In cricket, when does the batsman score a ‘six’?
Never. You have to be watching it for that to happen.

(Mmm. An issue here I think. Please watched Indian cricket on satellite TV then re-answer this question.)
Which of your stories would work best as a movie & who would you want starring in it?
Epidemic of the Undead. Main character would be that chubby guy from the movie Superbad.

(You mean Jonah Hill. Yes that would work. We have contacted him & you now owe him several million in upfront pay.)
Have you ever been to London? (If not, why not?) No… I have been on a label that had bands from there and we brought them to the states and I did some touring with them. Pretty cool dudes.

“There are too many crappy free eBooks about these days.” Do you agree?
YES!!!! As a cover designer I think the thing that bugs me more than all of the free books, it’s the awesome covers that come with them. Some of the covers I see out there for those free books are just awful.

(Agreed. There is too much shit out there. Sometimes it is easier to track who isn’t doing a zombie trilogy.)
What projects are next on the agenda for you? Give us a hint?
Killer Koala Bears from Another Dimension. That tells it all.
(Good, good. These are the droids we’re looking for.)
What free stuff can you send us we can use for prizes here at the Ministry? Everyone loves free stuff & prizes? i
http://indie-inside.com/media All of my music is free. That’s more than 50 songs! Since I am no longer touring, I figured I would let the public have at it.
(Nice one Pat.)

 

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Jaciara
12/20/2015 7:45:45 AM
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Drop bears are native to Australia. They are a muisapral closely related to both the Koala and Tasmanian Devil. The Koala evolved into a tree dweller and became a vegetarian eating only the leaves of specific varieties of trees. They regularly travel across land to get from one clump of trees to another and can travel some distance. The Tasmanian Devil evolved into a ground dwelling carnivor / carrion eater well known for its viscioness and bad temperment. It has one of the highest jawpressure bites of any beast. However the Drop Bear remained omniverous (eats meat and vegitable). Despite many caricatures of the animal it resembles a blend of the two other close branches of its genus, can range in color from light grey- brownish to jet black depending on what part of Australia they are from. They are typically lazy and lie in ambush along animal trails close to water however in drought conditions activally stalk their prey, preferring to attack from above, due to their smallish stature as opposed to their prey, they drop on you from the tree branches so as to deliver a killing bite to the neck before their prey can fight back. A pack of drop bears have been known to devour a horse in one night, its heavy bones are even cracked open by the jaws of the bear to access the marrow. During World War I nearly all Australian units took a mascot with them, many preferring native Australian animals to distinguish our nationality. When the units went into battle the animals were to be left in safe hands. Many of the English organisations who were to care for these animals were unprepared for the Australian natives and could not care for them properly resulting in the deaths of most. Three Battalions took dropbears as a representation of their ferocity. Each battalion had 6 men as animal handlers, two men at a time were required to handle the Dropbears when they were out of their cages they were attached to two leash poles with a man either side to control them. All three killed their English handlers and escaped within a fortnight of being left behind. It is possible that some decendants of these animals are living in Englands heavy woodlands. In Australia the best known deterrent is to use Vegimite (similar to the English Marmite but made with Australian ingrdiants) rubbed into the back of your neck as the Dropbears detest the taste and smell. Many rural Australians like myself develop severe dermatitis from years of use and can no longer use the vegimite solution. The solution we use is to always travel in pairs armed with a short barrel shotgun, not to shoot the bears because all Australian Native animals are protected and besides they are small and quick and almost impossible to shoot, but to shoot the victim befor he is torn to pieces by the bears. Many of the homicides in Australia are actually due to these mercy killings but are intentionally misreported so as to protect the tourism and immigration industries. http://clqaksv.com [url=http://pcasdhhldn.com]pcasdhhldn[/url] [link=http://wjguihtlus.com]wjguihtlus[/link]
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