It has been estimated that there are over 200 zombies being held in this country for scientific research purposes. I have one, possibly two, in my fortified shed outback – so that still leaves around 200 around the nation.
Why do I raise this?
Well, I contacted the top ten universities in this country to check on any research being done into the Zombic Condition – so far, I have two responses & am now no longer able to enter the grounds of University College Hospital in London. (A trifle unfair I thought bearing in mind the “arm” I was carrying as a sample was not attached to any living dead body.)
So, where the blazes are the living dead in the UK?
My 200 figure came from a very reliable worker in this field. I can only think they are with private companies or research bodies…
I phoned GlaxoSmithKline this morning & they forwarded me to Human Resources (Remains) – I’ll keep you all posted but things don’t look hopeful.
I am greatly concerned about exactly where these creatures are & under what conditions they are being kept. Mine are chained & locked in a fortified building. If they did get out, the garden is sealed in so I could deal with them no problem. Worse thing they could do is mess with my swinging chair.
I just don’t trust companies around the living dead – just too much bad history…when will people learn that profit & zombies just don’t mix….
If you know or work for a company using the undead for some purpose, please contact me, keep your name secret if you have to…just speak out now.